It Is What It Is.

When I first started six months ago, it was merely my own humble effort to establish a freeform,
hand-crafted outlet for my friends and I to express ourselves creatively. I had no hope whatsoever that it would
ever develop any sort of a following.  However, in recent weeks the sheer volume of wonderful feedback and
encouragement that has been cramming my email box has been overwhelming! So much so, that I can think of
no better way to repay your kindness than by answering your mail! So, without Further ado:


----Original Message-----
From: terri
Sent: June 15, 2007

It`s terri again. Will you ever contact me? I made those nude pictures especially for you! If you
wanna see them just drop me a line!


Thank you so much for your support of! I’m sure you look lovely nude, but as I mentioned
 previously, I am happily married. Please pass this message on to Randi, Candi, and Cherri as well!

----Original Message-----

From: Julie, Redmond WA
Sent: June 26, 2007

Hey Steve,
Can you pick up some coffee on your way home?

Nicely Played! Clearly this is a reference to my story Morning Routine, in which coffee plays a key role
as my Zombie fightin’ beverage of choice! Thanks for paying attention , Julie!

-----Original Message-----
From: Dolores Haze
Sent: June 19, 2007

 Congratulations, Mr Visionary.  This is clearly what the Internet was designed give every
 frustrated scribe in our land an outlet where he can gather up his musings like so many precious
autumn leaves and archive them as if to save future generations from the mistakes of the past. 

My cup runneth over with such effusive praise! I assure you Dolores, I am no visionary, but it warms my
heart to know that you consider my efforts to be precious. Emails like these are what keep me typing on
Sunday mornings!

-----Original Message-----
From: Jas. Eckman
Sent: June 26, 2007

 Mr. Bonehand,
You only update your site once per week, so you'd think the material would be a little more polished.
OK, a LOT more polished. And since most of the stuff you put on your site isn't even created by you, I
figure you invest maybe 15 minutes per month actually working on your site. So seriously, how are you
spending your time? It sure ain't here.

Thanks for reading, Jas! Although it’s kind of you to suggest that I make it all  look effortless, I assure you that
myself and the other contributors to site (my "stable", as I like to call them) work tirelessly to create the fine
content you enjoy at!

-----Original Message-----
From: Bill, Ypsilanti MI
Sent: Monday, June 25

"Settle a bet. I am thinking of submitting something to be published on, but my friend
says that it would have a better chance of being read if I printed it out, waddded it into a ball, and
flushed it down the toilet. Who's right?"
One of the things I love about our readership is their collective wit! Obviously Bill, that’s a trick question,
as toilet water would soon render your fine writing illegible! Obviously, the best bet is to submit it here
at, where it will have a chance to blossom in the minds of our audience!

 -----Original Message-----
From: Cathy H.
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007

Hey Steve, What's up? I checked out bonehand, nice but couldn't get on the email list. Are you still doing it?

Absolutely, Cathy! If you would like to be informed whenever is updated, either subscribe to our
RSS feed on the bottom of the front page, or drop me an email at I would be glad to
personally send you a head's up whenever we update!

 -----Original Message-----
From: Fahti
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I now get the computer. I come to site for looking the bone or the hand or the women find only the poop. 
I read to say poop to you. no mor this bone hand. 

If only I had a dollar for everytime someone made that mistake! My apologies Fahti, but I'm afraid that despite
my provocative nom de plume, the only teabags, cream pies and lobster claws you will find on
are of the culinary variety! Thanks for visiting, & best of luck in your future erotic googling!

 -----Original Message-----
From: John Shade, South Central CA
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Who is this character?  I for one am tired of masturbatory ramblings about "food", and when their
combined with the vile hip-thrust posturing of metal "music" and the solipsistic "literature" penned,
clearly, by unpublishable middle aged hacks, it's enough to make me puke feces (like the lead singer,
no doubt, of an extreme metal band).  Bonehand?  More like bone in hand...

Well, that's just nitpicking, isn't it?

 -----Original Message-----
From: U.N. Believable
Sent: Saturday, June 16, 2007 7:31 AM

 The majority of women are dissatisfied with the size of their lovers penis. That’s because their lovers
dont know about Penis Enlarge Patch! With Penis Enlarge Patch all your underwear will be too tight
for you! Due to Penis Enlarge Patch your penis will be the cause of her sleepless night!

Thank you so much for your concerns regarding my manhood, but I am afraid that such penile largesse would
be lost on me, since the love of my life will be sequestered with her new book manuscript until late July.
However I would be glad to pass your generous offer of assistance on to my friend Gordon.


Well, that’s it for this week! Thank you all again for the kind words! It's people like you that make creating this site


Would you like YOUR letter to be answered in BONEHAND’S BIG OL' MAIL SACK? Got a question that
needs answering? Then by all means, email me at! It would be my pleasure to reply in the
next edition! Until next time, Adios!

  Copyright  2007 Steven J Holetz

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