When I first started Bonehand.com six months ago, it
merely my own humble effort to establish a freeform,
hand-crafted outlet for my friends and I to express ourselves creatively. I had no hope whatsoever that it would
ever develop any sort of a following. However, in recent weeks the sheer volume of wonderful feedback and
encouragement that has been cramming my email box has been overwhelming! So much so, that I can think of
no better way to repay your kindness than by answering your mail! So, without Further ado:
BONEHAND’S BIG OL' MAIL SACK!
Sent: June 15, 2007
It`s terri again. Will you ever contact me? I made those nude pictures especially for you! If you
wanna see them just drop me a line!
Thank you so much for your support of Bonehand.com!
sure you look lovely nude, but as I mentioned
previously, I am happily married. Please pass this message on to Randi, Candi, and Cherri as well!
Sent: June 26, 2007
Can you pick up some coffee on your way home?
Nicely Played! Clearly this is a reference to my
Morning Routine, in which coffee plays a key
as my Zombie fightin’ beverage of choice! Thanks for paying attention , Julie!
From: Dolores Haze
Sent: June 19, 2007
frustrated scribe in our land an outlet where he can gather up his musings like so many precious
autumn leaves and archive them as if to save future generations from the mistakes of the past.
cup runneth over with such effusive praise! I assure you Dolores, I am
visionary, but it warms my
heart to know that you consider my efforts to be precious. Emails like these are what keep me typing on
From: Jas. Eckman
Sent: June 26, 2007
You only update your site once per week, so you'd think the material would be a little more polished.
figure you invest maybe 15 minutes per month actually working on your site. So seriously, how are you
spending your time? It sure ain't here.
Thanks for reading, Jas! Although it’s kind of you
suggest that I make it all look effortless, I assure you that
myself and the other contributors to site (my "stable", as I like to call them) work tirelessly to create the fine
content you enjoy at Bonehand.com!
From: Bill, Ypsilanti MI
Sent: Monday, June 25
a bet. I
am thinking of submitting something to be published on bonehand.com,
says that it would have a better chance of being read if I printed it out, waddded it into a ball, and
flushed it down the toilet. Who's right?"
One of the things I love about our readership is their collective wit! Obviously Bill, that’s a trick question,
as toilet water would soon render your fine writing illegible! Obviously, the best bet is to submit it here
at Bonehand.com, where it will have a chance to blossom in the minds of our audience!
From: Cathy H.
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007
Hey Steve, What's up? I checked out bonehand, nice but couldn't get on the email list. Are you still doing it?
RSS feed on the bottom of the front page, or drop me an email at email@example.com. I would be glad to
personally send you a head's up whenever we update!
Absolutely, Cathy! If you would like to be informed whenever Bonehand.com is updated, either subscribe to our
Sent: Tuesday, June 26, 2007
now get the
computer. I come to site for looking the bone or the hand or the women
find only the poop.
I read to say poop to you. no mor this bone hand.
If only I had a dollar for everytime someone made
My apologies Fahti, but I'm afraid that despite
my provocative nom de plume, the only teabags, cream pies and lobster claws you will find on bonehand.com
are of the culinary variety! Thanks for visiting, & best of luck in your future erotic googling!
From: John Shade,
Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2007
is this character? I for one am tired of masturbatory ramblings
about "food", and when their
combined with the vile hip-thrust posturing of metal "music" and the solipsistic "literature" penned,
clearly, by unpublishable middle aged hacks, it's enough to make me puke feces (like the lead singer,
no doubt, of an extreme metal band). Bonehand? More like bone in hand...
Well, that's just nitpicking, isn't it?
From: U.N. Believable
Sent: Saturday, June 16, 2007 7:31 AM
of women are dissatisfied
with the size of their lovers penis. That’s because their lovers
dont know about Penis Enlarge Patch! With Penis Enlarge Patch all your underwear will be too tight
for you! Due to Penis Enlarge Patch your penis will be the cause of her sleepless night!
Thank you so much for your concerns regarding my
but I am afraid that such penile largesse would
be lost on me, since the love of my life will be sequestered with her new book manuscript until late July.
However I would be glad to pass your generous offer of assistance on to my friend Gordon.
Well, that’s it for this week! Thank you all again
kind words! It's people like you that make creating this site
Would you like YOUR letter to be
answered in BONEHAND’S
BIG OL' MAIL SACK? Got a question that
needs answering? Then by all means, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org! It would be my pleasure to reply in the
next edition! Until next time, Adios!